What I Have Been Up To

First of all thank any and all of you who have been fans, followed my writing, befriended me, given me beer, listened to my ale-soaked ramblings, mercie beaucoup...

What I have been up to is working, trying not to get divorced, climbing, training, skiing and raising my kids, although not necessarily in that order. The work has been sporadic, the climbing dismal, the skiing better, raising my kids a challenge (but rewarding), the divorce business, well, horrific...

Enough grousing, I will be at Neptune Mountaineering in Boulder March 12, Thursday evening, courtesy of Ice-Holdz. By way of acknowledgment Terri and Jay have been very supportive, their Ice-Holdz product is not only innovative but awesome for indoor mixed training, many a dark evening or bleak winter day I have found solace in cranking around the woody nailing succulent slabs of plastic, some good tunes, a glass of ale and off you go, stretching, situps, pushups, love-grass...

Late winter here, there is snow to ski on, ice to climb, I have been active at Vail but rather stalled on a project, doing two short but spicy mixed roofs back-to-back bear-back. I have done one of the problems Quasimodo bear-backseveral weeks back but my attempts to climb it several days ago ended in stalemate at the dagger, it was my tenth lap and was too wasted to get a good stick, shit!

The other route has seen varying degrees of success, I have made the ice twice. Myabe that is completion in itself, to climb as well as you can, as hard as you can, I'm not sure anymore. People try to justify their leisure by placing artificial parameters around what they view as accomplishments, we got to here so that means what we have done on our holiday is relevant, nay, important. To each his or her own I say.

I had started the day well, one bloke was struggling on his ice route, taking quite a while, I was fresh up the hill so I walked over, went up Esmerelda solo even though it is only an M5 or M6 right now, but you would be pretty busted up if you fell off this so there is merit in having the presence of mind to not fall off, to climb well in the process too.

Then Quasimodo refused entrance as a further warm-up route spat me off twice. I switched to the current project but could not make the dynamic throw, when I finally did make the stick I had fought back on after a slip, I made the ice but blew a heel-hook badly instead of dropping another Yaniro the final moments were ugly to say the least. Frustration built, I am a human being, a mere man, I let my self-control go, lost focus.

Each attempt started with the best intentions then fizzled out, a slip here, there, finally I just lost steam, no more gas in the tank so to speak. From 9 to 4 I banged away, valiantly, fruitlessly, I had resolved tp die in battle, so I did. I went through a curtain head-first putting my Stunt helmet to the test, I bashed my shin, threw my one tool at a second lodged in the roof, I cut my scalp on a tree branch on the way down.

Humility, bad...

People pronounce "ice is dead", "mixed is dead", they are the ones dead, from within. They gave up when the leash, or the spur or whatever went out of fashion now The Game offers no further incentive, they want to leave and take the marbles with them if they won't play nobody else will.

Good and bad days, at the crag as in all things, sometimes the "bad" day teaches you the most, a foundation upon which to build further accomplishments, if you are not failing perhaps you are not improving? So I had a "bad" day, got beat-down, if there is value in that then I will maybe cruise the project next try? Always there is another day, walk away with maybe a few cuts and bruises, come again leaner, fresh with the craving, no need to get angry, just get even.

And then some...